Today is a special Featured Fave…I normally post these on Friday in place of the #FollowFriday tradition, but today’s post is special…Lori is at a crossroads and is looking for fresh eyes to maybe help her out. SO without further ramblings from me….here is Lori…
My story is pretty much the same as every woman's story who woke up one day and decided she no longer wanted to look at herself in the mirror. I was overweight, tired, and had not one fitness goal. I didn't even like to walk my dog. The day I truly “awakened” was the day almost four years ago when I watched my husband cross the finish line of his first marathon. I was resolved that if he could run 26.2 miles I could surely run a 5k. That began a four month journey just to run one mile! Since then I have run in various 5k, 10ks, and 3 half-marathons.
Having a runner husband, running really seemed like a natural choice for me, but I'm not sure that it is all that I am meant to be. After the third half-marathon I decided that I should train for a full marathon. It sounds like the logical next step right? Other than bragging rights to say “I ran a marathon”, I'm not really sure now that this is where I should be headed. You see, I can't say to you that I love running. I love what running does for my body, but I have no passion for it. Not like my husband, who can wait to jump out of bed in the morning to run and sometimes even runs again at night. It is his passion. I don't have that same desire for it. On top of that I have injured my left knee and now need to see my sports doctor again.
Through this journey I have discovered what MY passion is. It is cycling. I have an awesome road bike and I can't wait to get out there and push the distance and speed on my bike. I had discovered that while I'm a slower runner, I'm a pretty darn fast biker. I love to go out with my husband and ride 20+ miles each time we are out there. But here is the dilemma. I can only bike one day a week now and I have to scale it back because I have to save my legs for the running as I am in marathon training. As I write this, I am getting ready for a 30 mile ride and I just can not wait!
So here I am at a crossroads – a big crossroads. This may all be a moot point after I visit the doctor as it may curtail my running for a bit. I am not saying I never want to run again or that I want to stop running. What I am asking myself is why am I training these long distances for something I am not enjoying? Why do I have to feel that running 26.2 miles is a gold standard? Next weekend a friend and I are cycling 63 miles in a bike event. That is a big deal, yet why in my mind does it feel inferior to running? I suspect some of that feeling I have is based on my husband's view of running.
I posed these same questions to my dear friend Denise and this is
exactly how she responded to me:
“I don't know, Lori. But you can figure it out. When I get stuck like that, I ask myself things like: Who am I trying to please? What am I trying to prove? Who should I be trying to please? What am I not accepting at this moment? Am I any less or more by doing x, y, z? What am I really feeling? Am I acting or making a decision based on conditioning/emotion/desire or am I operating from my true self/center? Just remember your activities are something you do and hopefully take pleasure in. They don't define you. You are much more than what you do or possess.”
This was poignant and meaningful to me. You see my heart just melted when I read that because I realized I was not being true to myself and was more worried about letting everyone else down or what they might think. It is interesting to me that we seem to operate on a double standard. How and what we say to other people and how and what we say to ourselves. What I mean is that if someone were telling me all this, I would say “well then what in the hell are you doing? Go bike if that is what you love. You are not failing by switching courses, you are simply evolving and growing!” But when I say it to myself it sounds more like “If you don't see this out to the end then you are failing because you are quitting.” Why can't I practice what I preach? Even my kids think I'm crazy for even agonizing over this decision. It is so clear to them – they say “just follow your love of biking”.
Here is what I tell people all the time – find something you love to do and then do it. Perhaps it is time for me to follow my own advice.
There you have it. Lori’s story and quest for input, but you gotta visit her HERE and tell her what you think because as always comments are closed so you can show my fave some reader support.
Trish
